Thursday, September 29, 2011

Treatment #1: The Project

An establishing shot of the street then the camera moves into a medium close up of the girl sitting at the curb. The camera cuts into a close up to see the girl's face. The setting is very quiet as she looks at her phone with a blank facial expression and she has a notebook next to her.

The phone rings and she jumps because the cellphone ring is really loud, and then she answers the phone. Her friend Mindy calls her. As the girl is hearing Mindy's voice through the phone the camera is placed on the side of her face and the shot is a close up. On the phone Mindy says: "Meet me at the park near the swings so we can talk about our essay for the english project due on Tuesday."

So as the Mindy speaks to the girl the audience sees Mindy talking on the phone while they hear the girl say, "Cool I will meet you there. Bye!" Then the camera goes to a medium close up shot as we see the girl put her phone in her pocket.

She sits there for a minute and as she gets up. Then there is parallel action between the girl and Mindy walking to the park because both live pretty close to the park. The main problem is that the girl forgets her notebook on the floor. As the girl is walking away from the camera, there is a guy who picks up the notebook and walks into Mindy's direction.

Mindy passes by the man with the notebook but has no idea about the notebook and doesn't really look well at the man walking across of her, but she notices him. As she turns the corner to the park she sees the girl near the swings.

As the two girls walk up to the swings there will be an extreme high angle shot of them walking toward the swings and then cut to a medium close up when they unite with each other.

Mindy asks the girl about the project, and the girl had a weird expression on her face. She begins to panic and tells Mindy, "I forgot my notebook". Mindy says, "Don't worry its just notes you can copy from me, its not like you had our essay for the project in there! Haha!" Then the girl says, "Yes I had the essay in there and we have to go find it".

Then, both of them run in the same direction they came from as they look for the notebook. Mindy remembers that she saw a man holding a notebook as she was walking to the park, so she runs in that same direction the man was walking in. As Mindy runs she called the girl to run in her direction also.

As they get to a corner the camera is a long shot and both are reunited again. The music is very upbeat and fast paced. Then the girls finally see the man holding the notebook and they confront him.

They go up to him as they try to control their breath and ask him for the notebook back. The man gives them the notebook back and the girls walk away as they talk about their collaborative essay for their english project.

The music is slowed down as the camera is in a long shot position as we see the girl walk down the street and their voices fading away.

5 comments:

  1. This reminds me a lot of the short film where the guy returns the book to the girl...I also think it's more like a minute long than 2-7 minutes. You are very detailed, but I don't see the point of the guy because he seems like he should be a pivotal character when he isn't portrayed that way. I also don't understand why the guy doesn't give her the notebook when they first meet. Still, you are very specific in the shots and sound.

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  2. I thought that your idea was cute and simple yet I could see the ways that you incorporated some of the things from the Run Lola Run style charts. It sounded a little confusing for me because I don't get the motivation from the guy.

    I think you should add a twist or something. Maybe have the guy be at the same age (or maybe a tad older) as the girls and when the girls ask for the notebook back, he tries to hit on them. When he does, he gets caught with his girlfriend or something, anything.

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  4. Jenevieve, I like your idea. It's simple but to the point. I was a little confused, but I can see where you incorporate different ideas from the film Run Lola Run. Like plenny said, I think you can add a little twist to it at the end. It would help develop more characterization. I also like how you are specific and give lots of details. Also the whole notebook getting lost and the boy having it gets a little confusing in the middle of your story line, but I see what your trying to get at.

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  5. I think this story is very funny and amusing. Very descriptive language is used so I form a picture in my mind. I like the use of parallel action in the story. I think there should be more complications within the story rather than just forgetting the notebook. The ending seemed disappointing to me because I was expecting them to succeed. Nice work though!

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